The US president has scrapped paper straws because they allegedly ‘explode’ – a bit like the PM’s reputation if he keeps refusing to confront him on the big issues
It’s difficult to know whether to set any store by Donald Trump’s bleak and yet also often banal pronouncements, which read as if handfuls of offensive concepts have been tossed into the air by a monkey, read out in whatever order they landed and then made policy. Until it’s clear they can’t work. At which point, the monkey must toss again.
But this month, Trump, whose morning ablutions increasingly appear to consist of dousing himself in sachets of the kind of cheap hot chocolate powder I steal from three-star hotels, like a flightless bird stuck in the machine that glazes Magnum lollies, declared he wanted to build his hotels on the mass graves of Gaza. Hasn’t Trump seen The Shining? It won’t end well. Pity those whose children have the misfortune to die next to a monetisable stretch of shoreline. And hope humanity’s next wave of mass killings happens somewhere uneven and way inland that hopefully wouldn’t even make a decent golf course.
Stewart Lee tours Stewart Lee vs the Man-Wulf this year, with a Royal Festival Hall run in July
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Breaking Waves: Ocean News
02/16/2025 - 05:00
02/15/2025 - 14:00
A councillor’s alleged attempt to blow up a bird-prowling moggie reveals the pet-loving divide runs deep
The resignation last week of James Garnor, a parish councillor in Whittlebury, Northamptonshire, may look like further proof of the maxim, established by the infamous Jackie Weaver lockdown meeting, that low-level politics produce high-level emotions. However, the cause of his undoing was nothing as trivial as democratic principles; it illustrates a far more profound question that, sooner or later, we all confront: are you a cat or a dog person?
Garnor, we may safely conclude, is not a cat person. He quit following allegations that he rigged up a bird table with a firework device so that it exploded when a cat paid a visit. The consequences of this shocking but non-lethal incident, which took place back in 2023, have only now come to a head, but it’s fair to say that, as anti-cat statements go, a remote-detonated IED is at the extreme end of things.
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02/15/2025 - 14:00
Malabar wastewater plant discharges 5.4bn to 120bn microplastic particles each day, CSIRO report says, prompting calls for more advanced treatment processes
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It is not just human waste that is being pumped into the ocean off Sydney’s popular beaches due to the city’s unusual and archaic sewerage system – government scientists have confirmed billions of microplastics are also polluting the water.
A CSIRO report, released in 2020 but not reported on until now, found the wastewater treatment plant (WWTP) at Malabar discharged an estimated 5.4bn to 120bn microplastic particles into the ocean each day.
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02/15/2025 - 11:41
As the supermarket vows to introduce electrical stunning for its farmed prawns, campaigners call on others to follow suit
They are a popular staple for office lunches, barbecues and takeaways, but prawns often suffer an unpleasant death before reaching our plates.
Animal rights campaigners say billions of prawns farmed each year deserve better welfare protection and are targeting what they describe as “atrocious” practices of “eyestalk ablation” and suffocation in ice slurry.
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02/15/2025 - 10:00
As wildfires, floods, droughts and record-breaking temperatures have shown, the post-climate change era has arrived. Now we need honesty and action from our leaders
Not yet a quarter of the way into this century and global average temperatures are already 1.75C above the preindustrial average. January 2025 was the hottest on record and has also set a record for the highest yearly minimum global surface temperature, and likely the highest minimum in the past 120,000 years. It is part of a clear pattern. Last year’s global average was 1.6C above the preindustrial – a sobering reality check, given that, only three months ago at the UN Cop29 summit in Baku, Azerbaijan, leaders were still declaring that limiting global temperature rises to 1.5C was within reach.
We are firmly in the post-climate change world now, and the serious implications of this demand honest acknowledgment. The reality is that we are living now in a time of continual disasters that are unfolding alongside our slower, planetary scale disaster. In this riskier time, we need to prepare.
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02/15/2025 - 03:39
Trend towards more extreme-weather events will continue to hit crop yields and create price spikes, Inverto says
Extreme weather events are expected to lead to volatile food prices throughout 2025, supply chain analysts have said, after cocoa and coffee prices more than doubled over the past year.
In an apparent confirmation of warnings that climate breakdown could lead to food shortages, research by the consultancy Inverto found steep rises in the prices of a number of food commodities in the year to January that correlated with unexpected weather.
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02/15/2025 - 02:00
Adrián Simancas encountered a humpback off Chile’s coast – but scientists say he was never at risk of being swallowed
Adrián Simancas had been paddling for two hours in the calm but icy seas of the Strait of Magellan, off the coast of Chilean Patagonia, when something massive emerged from the water and dragged him under.
“I saw dark blue and white colours before feeling a slimy texture brush against my face,” the 24-year-old told the Guardian. “I closed my eyes to brace for impact, but it was soft, like being hit by a wave.”
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02/15/2025 - 01:15
Prime minister tells Salmon Tasmania of promise to change legislation and allow ‘sustainable’ farming to continue
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Anthony Albanese has promised to introduce legislation that will allow “sustainable salmon farming” to continue in Tasmania’s Macquarie Harbour, sparking anger from conversationists and researchers who urged for the local industry to be scaled back.
The promise, made in a letter to industry group Salmon Tasmania, came after years of lobbying for action in Macquarie Harbour to save the threatened Maugean skate from extinction.
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02/15/2025 - 01:00
Wildlife charity backs policy of exploitation of small number of some endangered species for economic purposes – such as trophy hunting
The wildlife charity WWF has been working to support the trade in polar bear fur at the same time as using images of the bears to raise money, it can be revealed.
Polar bears are severely affected by the loss of Arctic sea ice, which makes seeking prey harder and forces the bears to use more energy. In some regions, polar bears are showing signs of declining physical condition, having fewer cubs, and dying younger.
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02/14/2025 - 21:54
Residents in Sierra Madre begin cleanup effort after strongest storm of year sweeps through southern California
Residents of a southern California mountain community near the Eaton fire burn scar dug out of roads submerged in sludge on Friday after the strongest storm of the year swept through the area, unleashing debris flows and muddy messes in several neighborhoods recently torched by wildfires.
Water, debris and boulders rushed down the mountain in the city of Sierra Madre on Thursday night, trapping at least one car in the mud and damaging several home garages with mud and debris. Bulldozers on Friday were cleaning up the mud-covered streets in the city of 10,000 people.
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